I struggled with this title, and I want you all to know that. I still feel a little shaky about it. I want to go back and put “ex” in front of that hated V-word. But that would be dishonest. There’s no such thing as an ex-victim. As a compromise, the phrase “one-time” comes to mind, but that’s just a matter of semantics, and.. at least in my case, even less true.
I don’t like thinking of myself as a victim, but that is a part of who I am. I can sugar-coat it, could tell you and try to convince myself that I’m not a victim, but instead a survivor… That too, would be a form of deceit. Truth: I am both. Surviving violence does not erase the victimization. The effort required to pull yourself out of the victim-mentality and into the mindset of a survivor is long, difficult, and draining. It is, like life itself, an ongoing process. Continue reading »